Emotions create connection. They bond us. Unfortunately in our relationship with our partner, we often don’t share our emotions and therefore we don’t feel emotionally safe. At The Calgary Institute of Counselling, one of the theories we work from with couples is an attachment theory framework. It is our goal to help you and your partner create and sustain an emotionally safe base in your relationship.
If I appeal to you for emotional connection and you respond intellectually to a problem, rather than directly to me, on an attachment level I will experience that as “no response.”
Couples often fight and they need to, but they need to fight fair. Often they are not hearing each other and talk past each other. Then they are not hearing their partner’s emotions. If your partner is not hearing your emotions it is difficult to feel emotionally safe.
When your partner is not hearing your emotions you then do not feel that you have an emotional safe base in the relationship. You feel as though you can’t be honest and vulnerable with your emotions. You slowly learn to keep your emotions inside which then does not allow you to connect with partner and leaves you two feeling disconnected.
We help couples communicate and connect. Our desire is to help you move towards your partner in your emotions, to help you feel heard and validated by your partner. Our Calgary Psychologists have specific training in Gottman and Emotion Focused Therapy.